ek shayar ne apni suhagrat pe, apne L*nd per haath firate hueh arz kiya hai..

aaj kismat khul gayi laale ki
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Aaj to behan chud jaayegi mere saale ki..

Maa – Beta kya kar rahe hoh..

Beta – Padh Raha hun.

Maa – excellent.

Kya padh rahe hoh?

Beta – Aapki hone waali bahu ki messages.

MIDDLE CLASS ADMI KI BHI KYA ZINDAGI HAI..

Pant kharido to dusre din jute fat jaate hain..

Jute kharido to shirt fat jaati hai.

Sab 1 saath kharido to g***d fatt jaati hai..

Bihari aurat cheque cash karane gayi..
clerk : Sign karo
Aurat : kaise?
Clerk : Jaise khat ke end mein likti hoh.
Aurat ne likha : tOHAR CHUMMA KA INTEJAR MEIN BIJALI

Ladki : Parso mein tumhare ghar Rakhi le kar aayi thi par tumne nahin bandhwai. Aisa kyun ?

Santa : Agar mein tere ghar condom lekar aaoon to kya chu*ge?

Patni – Agar me mar gayi to aap royenge kya?

Pati- Pehle tu ye bata me abhi hass raha hun kya?

Teacher : agar koi school ke samne Bomb Rakh deta hai to kya karoge

Student : 1-2 ghante dekhenge

Agar koi le jaata hai to theek hai warna staff room me rakh denge

BREAKING NEWS : Akhirkar pata chal hi gaya ki 2012 me pralay kese aayega !!

5/8/2012

Friendship day aur rakhi ek hi din hai

2 Friends, after exam
1 kon sa paper tha?
2 shayad maths
1 yaani tune paper padha
2 na yaar, woh aage wali ladki CALCULATER lai thi.

One more kuch bhi msg

Aunty : Arey Beta kitne bade ho gayeh hoh tum toh..

Kid : Haan or koi option hi nahin tha na aunty.

Innocent Child after watching Anna Hazare -

“Mumma inhe koi to rok lo.. nahin to History mein 1 aur chapter badh jaayega”

Ek Ladka roz kothe pe jake bhav puchta tha.

Dost : Jab tujhe kuch karna nahin hai to rate kyun putchta hai?

Ladka : Main check karta hu ki GF mehangi to nahin pad rahi hai.

Girl : Where do you work ?

Boy : I was doing job with “Times of India” but now I left.

Girl : Oh God ! Why?

Boy : Subah Subah uthke kaun paper dalne jaayeh yaar !

Shall we try different position tonight?

Husband : wow, Excellent great idea

Wife : U stand at sink and wash dishes and I will lie on sofa and watch TV

Little girl went to shop- Jab mein badi ho jaungi mujhse shaadi karoge?

Shopkeeper Smiling — Ha kar lunga

Girl – to apni hone wali wife ko 1 choclate do.

USA: Hamare DOG football khelte hain..

JAPAN: Hamari FISH Dance karti hain..

CHINA: Hamare HATHI cycle chalate hain..

INDIA: Hamare GADHE Govt. Chalate hain…

• Soldier : Sir, mujhe chutti chahiyeh
  Major: kya kaam ha?
  S: BV ki yaad aarahi hai..Sex karna hai
  M: Samney wali deewar mein jo soorakh h, waha lund daal do.
  S ne waisa hi kiya bahut maja aya.
  M- ab batoah chutti par jana hai.
  S- Nhn Sir, bas kam ho gaya
  M-Shabash ab deewar k piche ja kar khade ho jaoh kuch aur jawan bi chutti mang rahe hain

• 1 ladka aaya aur mera daam bol diya,
  Mai kuch kahu usne mera blouse khol diya,
  Uski shirt bahut achi thi.
  Agle hi pal uske haath me meri kachhi thi
  Bister pe chadhar rang birangi thi..
  kuch hi pal me main puri nangi thi..
  Usne paas na koi nirodh tha..
  mujhe bas isi baat ka virodh tha.
  Maine dar dar ke kiya
  par uchak uchak ke liya..
  Chudne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi thi..
  Bed pe utna hi chila rahi thi..
  Uska lund choot ki faanko me kho gaya..
  aur madarchod safed pichkari mar ke so gaya.

• Girl : agar tum mil jao , zamana chor denge hum …..

Boy : Thanks Didi

• Girlfriend : Promise karo mujhe kabhi touch, kiss , I love you ke liyeh force nahin karoge !

Boy : Behan  to ghar ja.. Tere mummy papa chinta kar raheh honge

Why do we say “Pyar mein gir gaya” ?

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Bcoz if we say “Pyaar mein khada ho gaya” to double meaning ho jaayega na

Santa : Ye buzurg bh ibade sanki hote hai. choti choti baato pe rishta khatam kar dete hain.

Banta : kya hua?

Santa: tune suna nhn “Mungfuli mein dana nhn hum tumhare nana nhn”