ek shayar ne apni suhagrat pe, apne L*nd per haath firate hueh arz kiya hai..

aaj kismat khul gayi laale ki
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Aaj to behan chud jaayegi mere saale ki..

Maa – Beta kya kar rahe hoh..

Beta – Padh Raha hun.

Maa – excellent.

Kya padh rahe hoh?

Beta – Aapki hone waali bahu ki messages.

MIDDLE CLASS ADMI KI BHI KYA ZINDAGI HAI..

Pant kharido to dusre din jute fat jaate hain..

Jute kharido to shirt fat jaati hai.

Sab 1 saath kharido to g***d fatt jaati hai..

Bihari aurat cheque cash karane gayi..
clerk : Sign karo
Aurat : kaise?
Clerk : Jaise khat ke end mein likti hoh.
Aurat ne likha : tOHAR CHUMMA KA INTEJAR MEIN BIJALI

Shortcut Proposal :

Boy : Kya main aap ka address jaan sakta hun….

Girl : Q?

Boy : Ek din bharaat jo lekar aani hai

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Perfect example of generation gap :

Aamir Khan – Papa kehte hain bada naam karega

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Imran Khan : Daddy mujhse bola, tu galti hai meri

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When someone touches you and you don’t feel it, its IGNORANCE

When someone touches you and you feel it, its LOVE

When no one touches you and you feel it…

Bhaag lo

bhoot hai .

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• 5 Star se khana kha ke nikalte Ladke ne socha : Ladki impress ho gai hogi

Ladki ne socha : Gadha hai saala, itne me to hotel room. Whisky. condom teeno aajaate )

• Sapno ko aankho me sajaya karo

Bato ko dil se na lagaya karo

jab bhi dil kahe ki koi tumhe bhi manaye

bas humein yaad karkeruth jaaya karo

•  Santa : Yaar kal meri shaadi ki saalgira hai tu bata main apni biwi ko kya thofa dun..

Banta : Tu apni biwi ko talak de de woh bhut khush hogi

Ladki : Parso mein tumhare ghar Rakhi le kar aayi thi par tumne nahin bandhwai. Aisa kyun ?

Santa : Agar mein tere ghar condom lekar aaoon to kya chu*ge?

Patni – Agar me mar gayi to aap royenge kya?

Pati- Pehle tu ye bata me abhi hass raha hun kya?

USA: Hamare DOG football khelte hain..

JAPAN: Hamari FISH Dance karti hain..

CHINA: Hamare HATHI cycle chalate hain..

INDIA: Hamare GADHE Govt. Chalate hain…

• Soldier : Sir, mujhe chutti chahiyeh
  Major: kya kaam ha?
  S: BV ki yaad aarahi hai..Sex karna hai
  M: Samney wali deewar mein jo soorakh h, waha lund daal do.
  S ne waisa hi kiya bahut maja aya.
  M- ab batoah chutti par jana hai.
  S- Nhn Sir, bas kam ho gaya
  M-Shabash ab deewar k piche ja kar khade ho jaoh kuch aur jawan bi chutti mang rahe hain

• 1 ladka aaya aur mera daam bol diya,
  Mai kuch kahu usne mera blouse khol diya,
  Uski shirt bahut achi thi.
  Agle hi pal uske haath me meri kachhi thi
  Bister pe chadhar rang birangi thi..
  kuch hi pal me main puri nangi thi..
  Usne paas na koi nirodh tha..
  mujhe bas isi baat ka virodh tha.
  Maine dar dar ke kiya
  par uchak uchak ke liya..
  Chudne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi thi..
  Bed pe utna hi chila rahi thi..
  Uska lund choot ki faanko me kho gaya..
  aur madarchod safed pichkari mar ke so gaya.

• Girl : agar tum mil jao , zamana chor denge hum …..

Boy : Thanks Didi

• Girlfriend : Promise karo mujhe kabhi touch, kiss , I love you ke liyeh force nahin karoge !

Boy : Behan  to ghar ja.. Tere mummy papa chinta kar raheh honge

Why do we say “Pyar mein gir gaya” ?

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Bcoz if we say “Pyaar mein khada ho gaya” to double meaning ho jaayega na

Santa : Ye buzurg bh ibade sanki hote hai. choti choti baato pe rishta khatam kar dete hain.

Banta : kya hua?

Santa: tune suna nhn “Mungfuli mein dana nhn hum tumhare nana nhn”

Baap- Tumne apni mummy se unchi aawaz me baat ki?

Beta- Mujhe pata hai ki apko jalan ho rahi hai..

kyun ki aap aisa nahin kar sakte.

Bachpan me har ladke ki zindagi me 2 hadse zarur hote hain

1. Madam par dil ana

2. Pent ki zip me lulli ana!

Has kya rahe hoh nahin fasi thi kya?

SMS Courtesy : Abhishek Pandey

Agar koi anjaan ladki apko koi bag ya koi chez de to kripya use na le..

Usme RAAKHI ho sakta hai.. apki zara se laparvahi aapko BHAI Bana sakti hai.

• Maulvi apni wife se.. Main mar jaun to samnewali ko zarur  bulana.. Wife kyun?

Maulvi.. wo murde se lipat lipat kar roti hai..

Free Hindi Jokes on The Planet SMS 

• College ke boys toilet me likha tha “ Apka bhavishiya apke hath mein hain..Toh  girls toilet me kya likha hoga?

  Apneh bhavishya me ungli na kaarein